Chapters 4-6

As strange as it may sound, I find some of the stories mentioned in chapter 4 to be helpful things to read.  Helpful as a father to two girls (so far).  I was raised in a family with all boys, and did not get to see a daughter raised.  I would like to think that some good things would come naturally but I find that reading books like this help me to know even more what I need to do to be a good father to my daughters.  To say, "I love you" "You are beautiful" and to just generally cherish them.  At the same time its sobering, as I think about how little the missteps that can be so damaging can be.  Its just a painful reminder that try as hard as I might, I will not be the Father that they need.  I cannot provide for them in every emotional/spiritual way to truly make them whole.  I need to trust and point my daughters to their true Father in heaven.  Those are some of the impressions that I took out of Chapter 4.

Chapter 5 is one that relates very closely to Emily.  She has always struggled with feeling lonely.  In the worst of times, there are clear things to point to like the hard time we had finding good friends for her to hang out with when we first moved out here, because people are so dang busy.  However, even in the best of times, there is constant struggle with feeling alone, like people do not understand, or do not care.  Sure there may be little affronts or cases of neglect, but as her husband (and being a male) I can see how the Devil preys on every little foothold to try to isolate her more and more.  And it is a struggle for me to help, as I am so weak sometimes.  Sometimes it is easier just to wimp out and let her be alone, because in her isolation she will just push me away anyway, so why make the effort to push past those defenses.  Or I'm just too frustrated, because I can just see that she's believing the lies in her head, so I don't understand why she can't just stop thinking that way.  I think, slowly, through this tragedy with Emily's mom something in me has stirred though about more on how to "be there".  And really, that's all I can do.  As a guy I want to fix it, speak the truth have her believe it and move on.  With this tragedy, I realize, there is no fix, at least certainly none I can provide.  All I can do is listen, hold her and encourage her to not go cold.  To feel everything.  Hopefully, I can remember these lessons learned as we continue in our lives.  Hopefully I can continue to pursue her and stand by her, even when tragedy isn't so deep that it forces me to finally be a man.  

Chapter 6, that talked about healing, I probably wimped out on.  There is much in my own heart and past that I probably could benefit from dealing with, but kind of glosses over because this is a book for women, but really I think that was more me wimping out.  Perhaps if I reread this book or this chapter, I'll actually give this chapter a chance to be more reflective on my own life, rather than just pondering how it speaks to women.