Beauty From Pain

I have a lot to say here. or rather to quote, copy and muse on, so please bear with me. I will post on Chap 9 separately because of the long nature of this post.

Chapter 7 - I admit I did find this chapter a bit strange. I mean the idea of God romancing us in a well, frankly romantic way still seems a bit funny to me. I understand it, but I don't think I'm entirely comfortable with it...yet. It is probably something I need to work on. It all makes sense, all those analogies in the Bible about Christ and his bride...I guess I've rarely heard it written about in such intimate terms. Like I said, sounds correct but something I need to work on being comfortable with in my own life. Any thoughts?

Chapter 8 - I have a lot to say on this Chapter. A lot of chords hit home with me. First, I think this is an excellent chapter on beauty. I agree with the description and the struggles it talks about. Even though I am happily married, I still struggle big time with the beauty concept. Even though I get told I'm beautiful by someone I trust, I still doubt him. I think the book hit on it when it said that we don't feel beautiful because of fear...somehow I keep coming back to that one in my life.

The beginning pages talk about how the strength in a man protects the (real) beauty in a woman. I have to say I understand that better in the past weeks. Chris has had to stand between me and a lot of pain, fear, hurt, and good intentions from others during this difficult time. He's been my buffer and dealt with the nastier, more hurtful and more difficult people and situations, protecting my wounded and bleeding heart from he worst onslaughts of the world during this time. I can't say that I can see beauty in myself or the situation yet, but I know that in the long run this "strength" has made a difference.

I need to quote a couple passages in this chapter. I want all who read it to know that I am not holding myself up as a standard of beauty. All I am saying is that these are the sort of things that I have to cling to in the hopes that God is going to bring healing, bring good, bring "beauty" to me out of these horrific days of suffering. I guess these passages speak to me and my situation...

"To possess true beauty, we must be willing to suffer. I don't like that. Just writing it down makes my heart shrink back. Yet, if Christ himself was perfected though his sufferings, why would I believe God would not do the same with me? Women who are stunningly beautiful are women who have had their hearts enlarged by suffering. By saying, 'yes' when the world says, 'No.' By paying the high price of loving truly and honestly without demanding that they be loved in return. And by refusing to numb their pain in the myriad of ways available. They have come to know that when everyone and everything has left them, God is there. They have learned, along with David, that those who go through the desolate valley will find it a place of springs (Ps. 84:6)." (pg 143)

and...

"And so it is with a heart awakened to its sorrow. It is more aware, more present, and more alive, to all of the facets of life." (pg 144)

So based on what is being said here, suffering actually develops and perfects true beauty. Like Stasi I can't say I particularly enjoy this refining, but I'm stuck with it none the less. I think a song by Superchicks that was recently sent to me sums up how it all is best. I listen to this song a lot as it seems to represent exactly where I am... (To listen to it click on the title link)

Beauty From Pain by Superchicks

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive
But I feel like I died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am at the end of me
Trying to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain