Olivia

I think the first short story about Olivia was my favorite one, partially because it was the cleanest but mostly because it was the longest and thus in my opinion, the most developed. I enjoyed watching Olivia's transformation and dawning self awareness as she figured out what she really wanted in life amidst the magic of the twinkle lights and gumdrops of Santa Land. I think so often people, myself included, have these huge grandiose dreams of what we want to do in life, when if we thought about what the truest desires of our hearts are, we'd realize what we really want are simple things. 

I really like Hank's character and how he helps not only Olivia, but also her mother. I love that Olivia ends up with her childhood sweetheart (the geek turned successful genius) and that his name is Woody! Overall it was a cute, happy story that even had me wanting to play Mrs. Clause in a cute and sexy little red, fur trimmed number!

Mrs. Claus

I'm only a little into this, but I was amused by the prologue. One, I like that Rossman's Department store is in Chicago on Michigan Ave., clearly a Marshall Field's substitute. But, the financial issues that they are worried about and the idea of scaling back Christmas seems very topical with this year. Interesting.

Captivating End

Finished a couple of days ago, but haven't been able to sit down with the book, plus I was mulling some things over. I don't really have an answer for this, but I'm thinking about the femininity/masculinity of Christ. Without really having specific Biblical passages to point to, I've always kind of thought that God was without gender and that since we are made in His image that men and women are just varied expressions of his masculine or feminine traits. If that's the case and then since I also believe that Christ is fully God, how do I reconcile his earthly masculine persona with a non-gendered heavenly one? If I'm supposed to try to live my life like Christ, what of what he did was masculine and not what I as a female should be doing? How do I avoid what they caution "You must not let them [I think they mean 'the World' but didn't think it was too clear] shape you into their view of what a woman is. You'll end up a man" (212).

Another part that I'm not sure how to deal with is this from the final chapter: "God desires that wherever and however you offer yourself to the Body of Christ, you'll have the protection of good men over you. Not to hold you back, but to set you free as a woman. Christ has made man as his warrior, to offer his strength on behalf of Eve so that she might flourish. If that's not the context you've found yourself in find one that is" (211). That seems difficult to do in a fallen world, how on this earth can we do that? Often times the men in our worlds are not these kind of men, so I think women need to rely on God and His power and strength in them, regardless of the men around them. And the fact that the Eldredges have a whole chapter on "Warrior Princesses," makes it hard for me to accept that man is Christ's only warrior.

Anyway, this book has brought up some interesting things to talk and think about--good choice, Eden!

Finito!

Sorry, i got distracted by other things, most that didn't much matter. I finished the book, although not the study guide. I will get to that. I hope.

Chapter 10: Mom and I are a lot alike. At least that's why i think we argue as much as we do. She wants what's best for me and I don't want her to think that I can't do it. I don't know. But I love her. And there is so much about her I hope to emulate.

Never had sisters. But I've got you girls. Friends over the years that have given me love. People who stick around even when i'm not 'pretty' inside or out. That's sisterhood. I hope I do the same for you.

I think, with daughters, whether I ever have any officially is something that I do have. My readers. Most are girls (methinks) and I really do want to impress upon them through my stories, some good ideals. Most of my girl characters are strong and have good senses of self. It's all romance, but often there's more than just the guy. Well, half of the time.

And in my real stories, I'm trying to do the same. Create realistic female characters who are more than just looking for a guy. I guess they are my daughters.

Chapter 11: Okay, who doesn't want to be a Warrior Princess? I love the idea that we are ones. I've never wanted to be in a war story, but i do get excited when i hear about missions and the work people do for God. I would love to be a warrior. To be strong and mighty.

I like that the book says things like "But often, there is not a man present in a woman's life to fight on her behalf." (195) I guess, I'm fortunate enough to have my dad to do that for me. He probably always will too.

But I'm warming to the idea of being a woman on my own. At least for now. With God in my corner, I can be a warrior princess. A daughter of the king who can kick butt by loving and giving and standing strong. Tis thrilling.

I think I overdo vulnerable. So it's not offering my heart or vulnerability. It's doing it when it's needed. That's what I have to learn.

Chapter 12: I have always wanted to impact the world. Mostly by performing, but i think I've had that desire for a long time. The book says that I'm (we're) irreplaceable. I may not ipact the world in such a way that I'll be remembered by historians, but there is something specific that God wants me to do. I just have to figure out what. Telling stories, maybe. Being me and loving people, definitely.

I think in rereading this book, I've had time to remember and dwell on ideas that I read so quickly last time that I cried, but didn't set into motion. I hope in rereading that I'll take much more to heart and practice. That's the goal.

I hope it was good for everyone. That it opened your eyes to new ideas or reiterated some old ones. That it gave you all something to be excited about being you. You too Chris!!

December book

Okay, here's the deal. I've picked a fun, Christmas pop-fiction novel. I needed something light this month for obvious reasons. It's called The Secret Life of Mrs. Claus by Carly Alexander. I read about a quarter of it to make sure it was okay...don't think it's too sleezy and actually has some heart-warming messages so far. It basically has three shorter stories which are linked by a common theme/prologue. I'm not going to set specific dates for when each section is read, but I'd ask that we try and read it all by the first week of January if possible, since it is a Christmas book. I'm also going to suggest that we post on each section seperately since each of the three stories is sort of independant. With Christmas break coming up this should be doable for us I think...plus it's a fun read. Hopefully the rest of the book is good.

No More Rants (I Promise)

Okay--maybe I needed to just post my issues to get them out of the way in my head and heart, or maybe the material in the next three chapters is just better (for me), but either way I thought this section was much much better.

I really enjoyed "Romanced," as I noted in my comment to Em earlier, this was eye-opening to me in light of now knowing what it's like to be in a romantic relationship with someone, me personally, not me theoretically. Knowing the God is there as the Perfect Lover who always has the right answer, responds appropriately, can't be dissuaded from loving me is awesome (in the awe inspiring sense of the word). I like how they describe the passion of pursuing this relationship, sometimes I'm frightened to be committed and passionate about something because it might be silly or not worth while. But knowing God intimately will never be those things. "To pursue intimacy with Christ, you will have to fight for it. [...] You'll need to fight the Thief that would steal your Lover's gifts to you outright. That's okay. There is a fierceness in women that was given to us for a purpose. Getting time with your Lover is worth whatever it costs." (126)

"Beauty to Unveil" and "Arousing Adam" did seem to go hand in hand to me (as they note in 9 "We'll bet you were thinking about the man in your life through most of the last chapter"). The idea of being vulnerable and "unveiling [my] feminine heart" (147) is a terrifying thought in some regards because I do not like to be vulnerable, but exciting in other regards because I feel encouraged that I should be trying to be open, vulnerable, and arousing (obviously within the limits of appropriateness)--that it's worth it to try and if it's not worth the risk, than it's not worth my time.

The First Half of Captivating

I'm a bit reticent to post, since I don't think my experience with this book has been as significant as the rest of yours. I'm really struggling with the construction of the book, and finding it hard to overlook some of the flaws in order to accept the content, which seems pretty good, or at least well-intentioned.

While I appreciate the inclusion of various pop culture texts (I laughed aloud when I saw The Alchemist and I love that they mention Strictly Ballroom), I find their citation extremely shoddy. There is no bibliography, and even within text they are sketchy on details. Especially disconcerting is their use of texts like The Last of the Mohicans without differentiating between the book and the movie. While I haven't read the book, I'm aware that it varies greatly from the 1992 film (there are other versions as well, but again I am guessing/assuming this is the one the Eldredges mean) and has no romance between Cora and Nathaniel. If I didn't have any familiarity with the text, I would have assumed that they were talking about the book, since it was never clarified.

I feel as though a lot of the references to films and books rely heavily on the reader's prior familiarity with them. I realize this is a tricky line for an author--do you assume the audience has been living under a media blocking rock for the past two decades and explain everything, or do you just drop things in and hope that your reader can make the connection? I have read/watched most of the texts that they mention, but I think I would feel lost if I hadn't because these quotes are just tossed in left and right without much effort to connect them with the chapter. (Ex. the first full paragraph on p. 52 in Ch 3--where they talk about a bunch of movies starting with Jerry Maguire.) The references are barely explained, but they are expected to stand as 'proof' of the point. There needs to be more explication--it's the author's job, not the reader's to show how an example supports a thesis.

All the stories of women, are these interviews they've had with people? Things they've made up? I don't think it's especially clear (ex. Carrie's story in Ch 4), and it makes a difference to me whether this is an actual person they're talking about or a fictitious character.

Some of the problems I have with the lack of connection with their quotations I also have with their use of scripture. While there are moments that the Bible is deeply engaged with--the idea that Eve was the pinnacle of creation was quite provocative and well argued IMHO--more often, scripture seems to be tossed in with less frequency than pop culture and with nearly the same treatment. I haven't read very many psychology books, but there are times when I feel this is mostly pop psychology (childhood wounds, etc.) with a veneer of Christianity.

Ok, enough with the questionable writing, onto the content. I'm struggling with a lot of the absolutes that they attribute to females and femininity. While they do give some attention to trying not to pigeon-hole women, I think they do: "It's why little girls play dress up. Little boys play dress up, too, but in a different way. Our sons were cowboys for years. Or army men. Or Jedi knights. But they never once dressed up as bridegrooms, fairies, or butterflies. Little boys do not paint their toenails. They do no beg to get their ears pierced. (Some teenaged boys do, but that is another story.) Little boys don't play dress up with Mommy's jewelry and high heels. They don't sit for hours and brush each other's hair" (p. 13). This entire paragraph doesn't tell me anything about the souls of women or men, all it does is catalogue what is culturally accepted, what our particular society teaches about masculinity and femininity.

A cornerstone of their argument comes in Ch. 3 "Haunted By a Question" ; they suggest "Little girls want to know, Am I lovely? The twirling skirts, the dress up, the longing to be pretty and to be seen--that is what that's all about" (original emphasis, p. 46). THIS IS NOT ME. I rarely if ever remember playing dress up. I relate much better to what they say is the little boys' question "Do I have what it takes?" And the while much of the argument that follows, how women go about answering that desire to have their beauty affirmed, has some resonances, it makes me feel as though some how I'm not feminine, I'm not right because I don't relate to that core issue.

They later catalogue two types of perversion of femininity--dominating women and desolate women--and I can see some traces of myself in the dominating woman, who seeks to control and be perfect. The Eldredges suggest "this is not to say a woman can't be strong. What we are saying is that far too many women forfeit their femininity in order to feel safe and in control. Their strength feels more masculine than feminine. There is nothing inviting or alluring, nothing tender or merciful about them" (52). Yet they don't explain how a woman can be strong, and I'm left again feeling as though I'm not feminine.

While one could argue that I've just tried to deaden myself to this core feminine issue--that rather than deal with the pain of trying to feel as though I have worthwhile beauty, I've ignored that desire. But I don't think so. Much of what they are saying I find relateable on a human standpoint. The fact that we need to learn how to God first as our sustainer, provider, lover, savior, all and all is so true. I loved the verses from Hosea about placing thornbushes around her, and the thought that "In love, he [God] has to block her attempts until, wounded and aching, she turns to him and him alone for her rescue." (96) If these sorts of thoughts were framed in the context of how an individual responds to God, rather than a woman, I think I'd be much more affected. For now, I mostly feel uncomfortable about my apparent lack of femininity.

Captivating

Okay, so I am still a part of this book club, in case some of you have been wondering. I know I have not been the best with posting as of late, but I will try to be better. Part of it with Captivating is that I wanted to post on Ender's Game (I read it and loved it, Chris!) and never did. So, I know this is a bit late, but I wanted to just say that I really enjoyed Ender's Game.

Anyways, I am on to Captivating now. I have only read up to chapter 7, so if you have posted beyond chapter 6, I have not read your post yet. I think this has been an interesting read so far and I have resonated with a lot of things on an emotional level. I think this book primarily appeals to people more through emotions than logic and reasoning, which could be part of the reason you are struggling with how it is written, Sarah. The first three chapters were all right for me, but I felt that they were setting us up for the real message of the book. It was the next three chapters that got a little more emotional for me. Like Eden, I have definitely shed some tears on this book. I think anything that makes you examine your femininity is a hard thing for us to do, because it is a sensitive topic for most people. In some way, I think all women feel as if they do not measure up to what a woman should be. I really resonated with that woman Debbie in chapter 4 whose father had the affair and always felt like she had to be working on herself and improving herself. I think that's how I have felt for most of my life, like there is something wrong with me that I need to fix. To be honest, I think I still think that. That's why I exercise as much as I do and am constantly buying clothes and worry about what I eat and dye my hair and try to constantly improve myself at work. I always feel like I have to earn other's affections and that I can't do anything to mess it up or else I will lose people's love. And when I do make a mistake I get really hard on myself, even though I definitely don't hold anyone else to these standards. I definitely think there's a lot of truth in that we receive messages from our parents about who we are and what we are worth. I know I have always felt insecure about who I am and what I am worth, and struggle with feeling lonely and like people can't understand me at times. It was kind of eye opening that this book seems to think this is a common female problem, but I don't know that I think this is something every female struggles with. I do think that God has created male and females different, but I wonder with this book how much is society expectations of female and how much is how God has really made us as females. I mean, we all have some similar characteristics, but women are all so different as well. I mean, what Sarah was saying about feeling unfeminine because she never wondered if she's lovely.

I do think there is a lot of importance in examining our childhoods and don't think that is all just "pop psychology". I think our environment and how we grow up shapes a lot of our beliefs and philosophies on the world, and I think it is important to analyze this and see what is how we grow up and what is actually truth according to God's word. I mean, so many of the children I work with just come from really broken, unsupportive homes, and I wonder, do they have these problems because of genetic factors or because their parents are not parenting? I definitely agree that true healing cannot come from anywhere besides God and we need to turn to him for our needs. But this is hard for me to do a lot of times. I think I have basic trust issues with God. Sometimes I feel like he is not really there or he does not hear me when I pray. Or he hears but doesn't really care about what I want or wants to punish me because I don't deserve whatever it is I am wishing for.

Sorry if this is kind of convoluted, it is just the series of thoughts and impressions I have had while reading this book and may not be organized in the best manner. I will try to finish it up soon so I can read the other posts and post on the rest of it.